The First of May
by melpomene-muse of tragedy
Summary: An angsty fic about life, loss and love that lives on after death.


Disclaimer: The angst is mine. The characters aren't.

Warning: Minor Season 8 spoilers.

Authors Note: The title "The First of May" was taken from the BeeGees song of the same name, as the song's tone of pure melancholy inspired this fic.Other than that inspiration, the BeeGees, and their song, have absolutely nothing to do with this story.

* * *

Chapter 1

Jack paused for a moment in the doorway before he crossed the threshold into the room. The hospital bed was in the corner of the room along with all the IV's, monitors and other equipment that had become as common on the military base as guns and ID cards. And yet somehow you never quite got used to seeing your friends hooked up to them. He stood beside the bed looking down at her.

"General" She opened her eyes. He flashed her his best smile.

"How you feeling Sam?" Jack asked sitting down on a chair beside her bed.

She closed her eyes. She could feel his concern, even if he didn't show it. She didn't want to tell him how she really felt. She felt like her body was wearing down. It was a feeling she'd had before, when she'd been about to die.

I don't think I'm going to make it out of this one sir" She whispered, struggling to get the words out.

"Hey, I don't want to hear any more of that talk" Jack reprimanded

Sam sighed. "I may be an Air Force Colonel but I'm also a scientist. And one of the first things I learned was that you can't beat the second law of thermodynamics." Sam tried in vain to open her eyes before finally giving up. Not that she needed to see him to know he had that blank look on his face. "Everything dies Jack."

Jack swallowed hard. "Not yet Sam, you're gonna snap out of this. We've got the best doctors in the world coming. Daniel's looking for the Tok'Ra, we're even getting Heimdel on the line…"

"Jack" Sam cut him off. He could see the pain written on her face. I need to talk to you" She cringed at a stab of pain.

"What is it?" Jack asked hoarsely.

"I need you to do something for me," She gasped and pulled her knees up to her chest. Jack smoothed stray hair back from her forehead. Sam relaxed slowly as the sharp pain faded into a dull ache. Jack kept a hand on her head, gently brushing her hair behind her ear in a soothing motion. Sam settled down into the pillow, exhausted and calmed now. "I need you to look after my kids."

Jack was dumbfounded. "Sam I…"

Sam smiled faintly. "I like it when you call me Sam"

Jack opened his mouth to speak, but no words came.

Sam glanced around the room. "Where are Teal'c and Daniel?"

Jack cleared his throat. "They're coming" he reassured, stroking her forehead.

"You'll take them then?"

Jack was momentarily bewildered before he realized she'd gone back to talking about her children.

"I'm sorry" She apologized. "But you're the only one who can give them what they need."

"Me?" Jack couldn't believe this was happening.

"All they need is food, shelter, and love. You'll be great" Sam gasped, then exhaled slowly as numbness moved in, stealing over her. Jack's stomach knotted up and a single tear rolled down his cheek. "I'm sorry" Sam whispered again. "I know I've got no right to ask you after everything that's…"

"I'll do it" Jack said firmly. "I promise"

Sam's joy showed through her pale skin and the circles under her eyes. In fact, she positively glowed. "Thank you Jack" A tear slid down her face. Jack brushed it away with his hand but left his own to fall unchecked. "Tell them how much I love them."

"Sam" Jack choked. He still couldn't believe she was going to die on him. Not after all they'd lived through.

"Tell them" She repeated.

"I promise"

"Jack" she breathed

"Yeah?"

"You too"

Jack's voice cracked when he spoke. "I love you too"

Her eyes sparkled in the dim light as he kissed her ever so gently. And when his lips parted from hers, he felt her last breath, soft across his face.

* * *

Chapter 2

Jack walked up to the door of Sam's house. She'd bought the modest three bedroom ranch after her husband Pete had been killed in the line of duty. Sam had gone back to work at the SGC for the first time since her son was born. She'd needed a smaller house; something easier to clean, easier to afford on her income, and easier to live in without being constantly reminded of her dead husband.

Jack smiled in spite of himself when he remembered the house hunting trip. Sam had been a widow for six months, trying to get used to being a single mother and wanting to get back up on her own two feet. But Daniel had heard about the realtor and wanted to come along for "moral support". Teal'c had arrived with Daniel, who had also called Jack. Jack, who had refused to come but had ended up there anyway.

It had turned out to be a good time. Like the old days. Daniel had been miss-matched as usual in clashing shades of blue and brown. Teal'c had been wearing black cargo pants with a green and orange shirt. Jack had worn jeans and a T-shirt. Jack would never forget the look on the realtors face when he saw Sam arrive with the three men. Any more than he'd forget the look on Sam's face when the realtor had asked if they would all be living _together_… Jack knocked on the door, which was answered by a tired looking woman in her early seventies.

"Hello?"

"Hi. My name's Jack O'Neill…" Jack was reaching for his Air Force ID when the woman smiled.

"Of course, I see you around here all the time."

Jack raised an eyebrow.

"I live next door" She explained.

Jack stepped inside. "You're Meg?"

"That's right"

"Sam says you're an angel"

"Where is Samantha?" Meg asked. She saw Jack's face cloud over. "What's wrong?"

"Where are the kids?" Jack avoided the question.

"In the living room watching TV" Meg looked at him carefully. Jack started toward the living room. "Sam?" Meg asked.

Jack turned around and Meg saw tears in his eyes. An Air Force general had tears in his eyes. "Oh my God" Meg whispered. "The children?"

Jack took his jacket off and draped it over a chair. "I'll tell them."

Jack walked into the family room. He took in the familiar walls covered with pictures of Sam. Sam with her family as a kid, pictures of Sam and Pete, of Sam and Pete with the kids…They were sitting on the floor watching cartoons. Jack cleared his throat. "Hey kids."

"Hi Jack" Jake, the oldest, turned around to acknowledge him. Grace was riveted by the show. Jack always got a big welcome from the kids, but they'd gotten so used to him they didn't see any reason not to wait until the commercial break. So he waited too. The commercials came on and the kids were immediately reanimated.

Grace bounced up. "Hi Jack"

"Hi honey"

Jake looked around. "Where's Mom?" His mom came home alone a lot. Sometimes she brought Jack with her, but Jack never came to the house after work without his mom. And the first thing she did when she got home was hug her kids.

Jack felt his heart turn to lead. He slowly sank to his knees until he was at eye level with Jake. The boy could see the tears welling in the grown man's eyes and a strangling fear struck him. "Jack?" his voice trembled.

"There was an accident at work today." Jack's voice was scratchy. Jake stood frozen in place. Grace started to tremble. Jack let his own tears flow freely, and opened his arms wide.

* * *

Chapter 3

Jack stumbled through the house to answer the door.

"Daniel" Jack was groggy, his hair sticking up on the top of his head,

"Jack" Daniel blinked at Jack's bloodshot eyes.

"Daniel what are you doing here so early?" Jack asked, squinting.

"Well, actually it's almost noon Jack"

"What?" Jack looked at his watch, only to realize he must have taken it off some time in the night.

"Someone told me you might be staying here" Daniel tried to revive the faltering conversation.

"Yeah…" Jack said absently

"Jack?" Daniel was getting worried.

"Sorry" Jack blinked. "I don't think I slept last night. I mean, I thought I did because I don't remember anything but maybe I didn't."

Daniel's brow furrowed. "Jack you haven't been drinking by any chance?"

Jack sighed. "Not that I remember…" He turned and walked back into the living room, followed by Daniel at a safe distance.

All the curtains were drawn, effectively shutting out any light. The couch had a crumpled blanket at the foot, a pillow beside it on the floor and was obviously too short for someone as tall as Jack O'Neill was to sleep on it comfortably. Although chances were that wasn't the reason he hadn't slept.

"So how are the kids?" Daniel asked.

Jack looked stunned for a minute, then darted down the hallway toward the children's rooms, cussing himself out under his breath. Daniel took the opportunity to sniff the glass Jack had left beside the couch. It smelled like some kind of cola. Well why should the man need a hangover to look terrible? He'd just lost an extremely close friend, had to break the news to her kids, and spent the night in her house surrounded by pictures of her. It was a wonder he looked as sane as he did. Daniel had been beside himself when he'd heard the news. And as far as he knew Teal'c still hadn't spoken since. A part of him still didn't believe she was gone forever.

Jack came back into the room looking relieved. "They're still asleep. I'm not sure I should let the sleep this late, but they had such a bad night…" Jack sat on the couch, resting his elbows on legs and his forehead on his palms.

A worried look crossed Daniel's face. "Jack, who's going to take them in?"

Jack looked up. "You don't know?"

"Know what?"

"I am"

* * *

Chapter 4

The day of the funeral came quickly. Sam was buried beside Pete in the cemetery. It was mainly Air Force with a few civilians mixed in. There would be a private ceremony later in the SGC. Where her friends and co-workers could say what Sam had really done for her country. Right now they were just trying to get through lunch talking about what she had meant to their lives.

Jake and Grace were distracted, confused and surrounded by strangers. Jack, Daniel and Teal'c tried to alternate between looking after the children and mingling with the others. It was hell. Jack was trying to get Jake to eat something and get rid of a particularly persistent ex-colleague of Sam's form one of her science projects he'd never understood, when a young woman came to his rescue. She hugged him –for about the third time that day- until the multiple PH.D got bored and left. Jack stroked her hair.

"How ya doin' Cassie?"

Her eyes were red. "I'm all right Jack." She pulled back to look at him. "How are you?"

Jack swallowed. "Getting by"

Cassandra looked down at the children. She felt like her heart was literally broken. They were sitting together at a table. Grace had eaten a little, out of the young child's need for food, but Jake hadn't touched his plate. Cassandra walked over to the children and stood beside them. "Can I sit here?" She asked gently.

Jake looked at Grace. He'd lost all of his usual bossiness and has started looking to his younger sister for guidance. Jake had always been good at getting his own way, but Grace was always the one to tell him what mom would want them to do. Grace nodded, so Jake nodded, and Cassandra sat down.

She wasn't sure what to say. Somehow this didn't seem like the time or place for small talk. "You remember me?" She asked.

Grace nodded.

"Cassandra" Jake said quietly.

"That's right" Cassandra flashed back to the day Jacob was born. She'd felt like she was getting a cousin or nephew, even a younger brother. Sam had been so good to her after her mom died. "You know I don't tell a lot of people this, but I'm going to tell you two because I think you'll understand." Cassie took a deep breath. "When I was a little girl, a little older than Jake, my mom died; she got sick and I lost her. I was completely alone. There was nobody left to take care of me."

Grace was starting to get involved in the story. "Nobody?" She asked, worried about the little girl.

"No, I didn't have any friends or family to look after me. But then, then your mom found me, your mom, and Daniel, and Teal'c. But mostly it was Sam. She took care of me and helped me find an adoptive mother who loved me." Cassie paused. "And then years ago, before either of you were born, she died. I lost my birth mother, my adoptive mother, but your mom was always there for me, helping me through it. She was like a mother to me too in a way." Cassandra swallowed tears. "But even now, even having lost Sam too, I'm still not alone. I still have people who love me. And so do you.

"You're mom loved you so much. She made sure that if anything happened to her you'd be with people who loved you. So you're going to be taken care of by Jack, and Daniel and Teal'c too. And I know they love you as much as they ever loved me."

"Jack said he's taking us to live with him" Jake whispered.

Cassandra nodded. "You know, Jack loves you a lot."

Grace nodded.

"You know, Jack gives the best hugs you've ever had." Cassie continued. "And he'll make sure you don't have a thing to worry about okay? I know what it feels like to lose your family. I know it hurts, and nothing feels safe for a very long time. But I promise you, you're taken care of. And believe me, if there's anything Jack's good at, it's keeping people safe. Okay?"

"Okay" Grace agreed.

"Okay?" Cassandra asked Jake.

Jake nodded.

"Good" Cassie looked at them. They were so alone. It would take a long time for the wounds to heal. But she held some hope that if they could believe her, if they could at least trust they would be safe, then they could mourn in peace without being afraid of what was going to happen next.

"Cassandra?" Jake ventured.

"Yes?"

"Will Jack let us take some of mom's things when we got to live with him?"

Cassandra smiled tearfully. "Yes Jacob. Yes he will."

* * *

Chapter 5

Jack picked up the phone. "Hello"

"O'Neill"

"Hey T. What's up?" Jack hadn't heard for Teal'c since the memorial service.

"I must apologize"

"What for?" Jack asked, surprised.

"Since Colonel Carter's death I believe I have thought of little but my own grief."

Jack sighed. Teal'c was so conscientious.

"Don't worry about it. It's only natural." He's been feeling a little sorry for himself lately too.

"How are Samantha's children?"

"Well," Jack considered. "They've lost the best mother any two kids ever had and now

They're stuck with me. That about sums it up."

"O'Neill, Samantha loved her children as much as any mother is able. She would not have released them into your care if she did not believe you were capable."

Jack sighed. "Thanks Teal'c, but I really think her options were limited."

"That may be true. However I do not believe this is why she chose you. She chose you because she has observed you with children on many occasions: children from other world's as well as this one. She has witnessed your devotion to Skaara and Cassandra. She has observed you many times with her own children. And, as the rest of us, she observed the undying affection your still bear for your son Charlie."

Jack closed his eyes at the mention of his dead son.

"That O'Neill, is why she chose you"

* * *

Chapter 6

Jack opened his front door to find Daniel standing there. Jack's hair was sticking straight up, his jeans looked like he'd slept in them and his faded green T-shirt had milk spilled on the front.

"Hi" Jack greeted his friend.

"Hi Jack" Daniel came inside and looked around. He'd never thought Jack was a very great housekeeper but now…There had to be at least six pairs of shoes by the door. They'd probably been arranged in rows at some point but now they were all mixed up and stacked on top of each other. Daniel could see part of the living room from where he stood and there were toys scattered everywhere.

"So how are you guys doing?" Daniel asked.

"Fine" Jack answered, striding over to his table which had three dry cereal boxes, two empty cereal bowls, and milk soaked Wheaties on it. The third bowl was upside down on the floor. Jack started wiping up the mess on the floor with a towel from the kitchen.

"Oh wow" Daniel looked around. "Are you all right?"

"They're kids Daniel" Jack picked up a handful of soggy cereal and deposited it on the table. "Little ones" He set the bowl on the table and dropped the soaked towel inside. "I'll finish cleaning this up later, let's sit down."

"Okay" Daniel agreed.

Jack washed the milk off his hands and opened the fridge. "You want a beer?"

"No thanks" Daniel replied. "It's only eight o'clock, so I think I'll try to stay sober for a few more hours."

Jack smiled at the ease with which Daniel got drunk. "Whatever you say"

"How're the kids?" Daniel asked, looking around.

"They started back to school today" Jack walked toward the living room.

"So things working out here?"

"Not really" Jack admitted. "I think I might need to add on, or move or something."

"You were staying at Sam's for a while"

Jack sat down. "The kids weren't ready to leave right away."

"And they were now?" Daniel asked curiously.

"We didn't have a choice"' Jack said simply. "We were all going crazy. I didn't have anything; I couldn't sleep on that couch. I tried sleeping in Sam's room once…" Jack still vividly remembered the agony of being surrounded by her.

Daniel noticed the pain on Jack's face as his voice drifted off and looked away. He picked up a picture frame off the end table beside his chair. It was a photo of Sam and Pete on their wedding day. Daniel looked at Jack questioningly.

"Jake" Jack explained. "I said to bring some things over until we could get everybody settled."

Daniel set the frame back down. "This is weird"

"Yeah" Jack agreed. "But it helps sometimes you know? Having the kids around. It makes it…better somehow."

Daniel squirmed. "Even if they're his?"

Jack sipped his beer nonchalantly. "Does it matter?"

Daniel gave Jack his honesty-is-the-best-policy look.

Jack shrugged it off. "I'm getting over that"

Daniel was unconvinced. "Sam told me you and Pete weren't speaking when he died."

Jack looked irritated. "Daniel, the man was an idiot."

Daniel sighed, "She took your side you know."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "What?"

"The day of the barbeque. You and Pete were arguing, he asked you to leave, you left, Sam took your side and had a fight with Pete."

"She never told me that"

"No. She never told you when she fought with him. Besides, you know how things were then. We practically had to drag you over there. If you'd known you'd caused a fight between them…" Daniel didn't finish.

"I'd have stopped coming over" Jack completed his thought.

"She was trying to keep us together" Daniel stated.

"She knew things would change if she married him" Jack pointed out.

Daniel sighed. "I know"

* * *

Chapter 7

Daniel took the proffered beer this time and sat down. It was getting late.

"Did you say Teal'c was coming?" Jack yawned.

"Yeah he was going to but he might not make it. I think he feels a lot like I do. That we're not doing enough to help"

"Hey I'm handling it" Jack said confidently. "The chaos, the confusion, the…laundry."

"What are you feeding those kids?" Daniel wondered, remembering Jack's previous diet of burritos, salsa and other rather questionable foods.

"Oh the usual" Jack said casually "Take-out and beer"

"I'm serious Jack"

"Daniel, have you ever heard of boxed macaroni and cheese?"

"I should be helping more" Daniel repeated guiltily.

"Hey they're my responsibility. I'm the one who has to live up to Sam's trust. Besides, someone had to take care of things at the SGC."

"Yeah" Daniel turned his bottle around and around in his hands. "Speaking of which, Teal'c and I cleaned out Sam's office last week" Daniel was building up. "And this week we went through her lab. Lots of folders, mostly technical stuff, we're having someone look at it, someone who understands that kind of stuff. Anyway, we found something today we thought you should see."

Jack gave him that old, you've-got-to-be-kidding look again. "Something in Sam's lab" he repeated skeptically.

"We found it in an envelope along with a spectral analysis of…something and I've been debating whether or not to show it to you just yet…"

"Daniel you know I never understand that stuff"

Daniel struggled for the right words. "Look Jack, this isn't very high tech. It has to do with the family. I don't know if she brought it to work for a specific reason or to conceal it, but it was hidden. Here's one of the pages." Daniel handed a page to Jack. "It took me a few minutes to get an idea of what it was. Then I compared it to some information on file with the SGC. I was going to take it to the base physician but I couldn't, obviously, because of the delicate nature of the information. So I took it to a geneticist I met once when I worked in Chicago and he confirmed it."

"Daniel" Jack said flatly.

"What?" Daniel asked.

Jack held up the sheet with numbers, letter and percents. "I have no idea what this means."

Daniel sighed. He was forced to come out and say it. "It's a sheet from Jake's medical records. Most kids his age have a health history, a list of allergies, vaccinations, chicken pox…but Sam had full files on both Jake and Grace. Not just blood types but detailed DNA analysis. Look at the date on that paper. I've never had kids, but I'm guessing this is way beyond your average checkup for entering the first grade."

"Second" Jack corrected. Then realized it didn't matter right now. "So what are you saying? Jake's okay right?"

"He's fine" Daniel quickly assured him. "They both are. In fact they're better than fine. They're taller, stronger, healthier than the average child their age…"

"So what _is _it Daniel" Jack was getting impatient.

"Okay the point is I researched some family medical history and Pete is, Pete was, infertile. He couldn't have children." It took a moment for this to sink in.

"They're not Pete's kids" Jack mumbled, running his fingers through his hair. "Then whose are they?"

"Well according to the DNA test we ran" Daniel took a deep breath. "They're yours."

* * *

Chapter 8

There was a long pause

"Now that's impossible" Jack stated when he regained his composure somewhat.

"Jack I never thought I'd be asking you this question…"

Jack glared at him

"Okay maybe I won't ask"

Jack exhaled loudly. "Daniel I'm telling you there's no possible way those kids could be mine. None whatsoever. I mean, she was _married _for crying out loud."

Daniel closed his eyes briefly, collecting his thoughts. "I know Jack. And ordinarily I wouldn't have considered it either. But we've got two kids, two sets of positive paternity tests, and you and Sam did have a kind of history, you understand I had to ask?"

"Yeah sure" Jack assented.

"There's also the fact that the doctor had no record of Sam undergoing In Vitro fertilization."

Jack cringed. "The Petri dish thing?"

"Yeah, but I find it hard to believe Sam would do that without your consent. Even if it were possible. You never donated…"

"No" Jack said emphatically.

"Not ever?"

"Not a chance"

"Well I guess that rules that out"

"Well it sure as hell didn't happen the old fashioned way"

Daniel looked confused for a moment. "Well I'll keep looking and tell you what I come up with" Daniel stood up.

"I'd appreciate that" Jack walked him to the door.

Daniel stepped outside, and then turned around. "Oh Jack I almost forgot. Congratulations."

* * *

Chapter 9

Jack sat at the table eating pizza. He'd discovered a wonderful combination of ready-made pizza crust, canned spaghetti sauce, shredded mozzarella, and sliced pepperoni. Load up the crust, top it with a few canned mushrooms,-Jake picked them off- and bake. He tried to feed the kids as healthily as possible because he knew that's what Sam would want. But he'd become a 'single parent' so quickly. He had to admit he was struggling a little. And now after Daniel's visit he was more confused than ever.

He'd been very protective of the children. They were so young, so innocent, so helpless. And they'd lost so much, their parents, their home…but had they lost their father? It'd been days since Daniel had been there and for days the question had been gnawing away at the back of his mind. How could they possibly be his? He hadn't done anything. And there were some things even the Air Force wouldn't ask a guy to give a sample of. But Daniel wouldn't have said anything unless he was sure. Hell, Daniel probably hadn't believed it himself right away.

Jack studied the children. It seemed he couldn't keep his eyes off them. Ever since they were born he'd looked at them, loving them because he saw Sam in them, because they were part of her. And all the more now because they were all he had left. Now he was searching them for signs of himself.

The kids were quiet tonight. Jack had asked them about school. And although both of them were good students, neither of them was enjoying it much. Jack didn't blame them, especially if they were his…

* * *

Chapter 10

Jack had fallen asleep at his desk when Teal'c walked in.

"O'Neill"

"Teal'c" Jack sat up, squinted, and rubbed his face.

"Are you all right?" Teal'c inquired.

"I'm fine" Jack yawned. "Ya know I can't believe I'm saying this but I think I'm getting a little old for this stuff"

"To what do you refer?"

"Oh you know, get up, get the kids to school, work all day, pick up the kids, take them home, make supper, get them to bed…"

Teal'c smiled. "Perhaps it is only because you are new to the job."

"I'm getting the hang of it" Jack blinked. "It's just that…" He shook his head "They have so much energy"

"Teal'c raised his eyebrows "I have never known anyone who possessed more energy than you O'Neill"

Jack looked at Teal'c seriously. "You really think they're mine?"

Teal'c was sober. "I do not believe this is the place to discuss it. However, Daniel believes he may have a lead."

"A lead?" Teal'c had obviously been watching too many cop shows again.

"We should meet"

"You're place?" Jack suggested.

"What of the children?" Teal'c asked.

"I suppose I could get a babysitter." Jack said reluctantly.

"I may know someone"

Jack grinned. "You're girlfriend?"

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "I do not believe I have mentioned her to you O'Neill"

Jack shrugged. "You never should have bought that house with Daniel"

* * *

Chapter 11

Jack knocked on the left side door of the duplex. A woman answered. Her dark hair hung down past her shoulders. She smiled brightly. "Hello"

"Hi" Jack smiled his easy going smile and followed the children inside.

She bent down to be at eye level with the kids. "I'm Alexis"

"I'm Grace" Grace beamed, taking to her instantly. "This is my big brother Jake."

"Pleased to meet you Grace, Jake," Alexis straightened up. "Jack"

"Alexis"

"Teal'c's waiting for you with Daniel" She told him.

Jack turned to the kids. "You guys be good now. And I'll be next door if you need anything."

Alexis laughed. "We'll be fine Jack. You men just have a good time."

"Thanks" Jack started for the door. "You kids'll be fine" Jack said; as much to reassure himself as them.

"Of course" Grace said, as if it were obvious.

Jack and Alexis smiled at each other. Grace was truly fearless.

"I'll be back in a couple of hours" Jack smiled at the kids and left.

Alexis turned to the kids and grinned. "He doesn't leave you alone very often does he?"

"We got to school" Jake offered.

"After school?" Alexis asked.

"He likes to be home, but mostly Meg looks after us." Jake supplied

"But Meg couldn't watch us tonight" Grace explained "because she goes to bed at 20:00"

"That's eight o'clock" Jake explained helpfully.

"So what's your bedtime?" Alexis asked.

"What bedtime?" Jake asked innocently.

* * *

Chapter 12

Teal'c answered the door. "Come in O'Neill"

Jack stepped inside. "Where's Daniel?"

"In the kitchen"

Daniel emerged from the kitchen. "I come bearing gifts" he announced. Daniel handed Teal'c a Snapple, Jack a Budweiser and sipped his Frappuccino.

"How're the kids?" Daniel asked, sitting down.

"They're fine" Jack answered. "You know that Alexis is really something"

Teal'c smiled "I am aware"

"Isn't she a little young for you?" Daniel asked rather bluntly.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

I mean, technically you're…a bit older than she is"

"I may be many years your senior Daniel Jackson, but I believe I am your equal physically, if not your superior." Teal'c stated with a hint of egotism in him voice.

"Is that a challenge?" Jack asked mischievously.

"I'll pas thanks" Daniel declined, laughing. "I intend to _keep_ all my body parts present and accounted for thank you very much."

Teal'c leaned back in his chair looking satisfied with himself. "If you wish"

"I do" Daniel sipped his drink.

The conversation stopped as the good natured banter ran out. And it began to grow obvious they were avoiding the subject. A subject they couldn't avoid forever since it was the whole reason they were there. Jack was the first one to come to the point.

"So Daniel, Teal'c tells me you found something."

"Yes I did actually" Daniel seemed reluctant.

"Well?" Jack prodded.

Daniel hesitated.

"Samantha was abducted by the Asgard." Teal'c said it flat out.

Jack's eyes narrowed. "What?"

"Well that's not the word I would have used." Daniel said quickly. "They basically beamed her up, talked to her, and beamed her back."

"So?"

"So they told her about this idea they'd been working on where they…" Daniel faltered "Okay, child development 101. Take an egg, fertilize it with the sperm and it becomes and embryo. Well they said all they needed was the female…component. All they needed from the male was DNA. Don't ask me how it works, I don't know. The point it they had successfully –for want of a better word- 'grown' people." Daniel paused to sip his drink.

"Okay, so they decided to go all out, they already had a sample of your DNA. You know how partial they are to you. They were a little less particular about the woman but they found Sam's gene's appealing for obvious reason and thought she'd have above average chanced of producing this, wunderkind. They also thought it would be easier if they chose someone you knew."

"Very sensitive folks the Asgard" Jack commented dryly.

"Are you displeased?" Teal'c asked him.

"I can't believe this" Jack ran his hand over his face.

"Well think about it Jack. They'd just lost their Supreme Commander; they hadn't solved their cloning problem. They didn't see any choice but to try and speed up human development. They said you weren't the answer but you _were_ an important step. I think it was logical to assume that if anyone could produce the next step it would be you. And we knew their methods got more extreme after Thor died. I guess we just didn't know by how much."

"Why didn't she tell me?" Jack asked, not really expecting an answer.

"I believe she would have, If she thought it would do some good" Teal'c replied. When no one spoke he continued. "Samantha retired from the SGC. But she knew what was happening. She knew the importance of the Asgard, and how things had changed since Thor died; she also believed the experiment would continue with, or without her cooperation."

"Teal'c's right. The Asgard were determined to do this, and this time instead of artificial wombs and growth enhancements the child was to be carried to term, mature at a normal rate. Be raised by its mother…"

"_His_ mother" Jack corrected.

"Right"

Jack leaned his head back and studied the ceiling. He felt like his head was about to explode. "So what you're telling me is that those kids" he pointed toward Teal'c's place. "Those kids weren't just Sam's decision. They were forced on her by some…Asgard mad scientist?"

"No" Daniel objected firmly. "Jack you know better than anyone that Sam would not have volunteered if she hadn't been comfortable with the idea. I mean she must have had her doubts about it all but the very fact that she got past those doubts and did it anyway proves she wanted to do it."

Teal'c agreed. "I do not believe she would have agreed to be the mother of these children, is she had not wanted them completely."

"I mean. It's not like there weren't other options, artificial insemination, in vitro fertilization, adoption."

Jack exhaled for about the fiftieth time. Why not? Why shouldn't Sam have wanted this? Because it was weird? Because it was…wrong? Having his children and not telling him. But Daniel was right. They were going to do it to someone. That was really sick.

Jack thought about the kids, his kids. Sam had volunteered to have his kids. It wasn't completely impossible. They'd been friends for years, had feelings that were deeper than friendship. But there was one piece that still didn't fit, one nagging piece.

"Pete?" Jack asked.

"We're not sure" Daniel had anticipated the question. "We think she told him something about and alien treatment..."

"He thought they were his" Jack put it simply.

"That is the assumption" Teal'c interjected.

"We think she told him it was done in the SGC -the same top secret, alien technology line we've used a million times- so he didn't as too many questions."

Jack had a thought. "Why Grace? If it worked with Jake why did they try it again?"

Daniel took a deep breath. "I was wondering that myself" He confessed. "So I asked them"

"And?"

"And they said they didn't ask for another one. Sam did"

Jack closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. "You're trying to tell me that she went to an alien and _asked _to have another of my kids, all the while giving her husband some line about a 'medical procedure'."

"Something like that"

"Are you all right O'Neill?"

"What am I going to tell the kids? They'll have to know eventually right?"

"Right" Daniel agreed.

"If I may" Teal'c offered. "I was nearly one hundred years old when I left behind the only life I had ever known. I left because when I looked into your eyes O'Neill. I saw truth. However, many years before Bra'tac had prepared me. I was ready"

Jack nodded.

"But how do you prepare them for something like this?" Daniel asked, bewildered. "It doesn't seem possible."

"Well telling them Pete was a false god is out" Jack muttered. Daniel and Teal'c looked at him. "Isn't it?"

* * *

Chapter 13

Jack tucked the kids into bed for the night. They still had to share a room until he figured something out. He knew they would be needing their own rooms soon. But they were still young. And there was something nice about being able to come into one room and look at them both at the same time. His eyes misted over as he soaked up the realization. The bittersweet realization of fatherhood. The longer he thought about it the more any bitterness in it washed away.

He loved them so desperately his heart ached with the force of it. And he loved their mother even more for giving them to him. For saying 'yes' to the damned Asgard and going through with it despite the misgivings she must have had. She'd faced it all and been strong enough to bear it, as she'd borne his children.

As he brushed the hair back from the angelic face of his sleeping daughter a tear rolled down his face. He wiped his eyes with his shirt sleeve.

"Jack" Jake whispered. "Are you crying?" Jack hadn't even known the boy was awake. He started to deny it but couldn't.

"Yeah" he whispered, walking over to sit at the foot of his son's bed. "I'm crying"

"Over mom?"

Jack nodded, smiling slightly at the kid's perception.

"You miss her too?" Jake asked, choking up.

"Yeah Jake, I miss her a lot."

"Will you tell me about her? I mean, about things I don't know. She said the work she did was a secret but there must be things that aren't a secret?" Jake asked hopefully. "Stories you're allowed to tell?"

Jack got a faraway look in his eyes as a flood passed over him. Moments in time…meals in the cafeteria, conversations in the hallway, jokes in the Gate Room, times in her lab, the control room, briefing room, times in the infirmary, at his house, her house, with the team.

There were memories of O'Malley's, diners, the park with Cassie. And all the backyard barbeques, weekend picnics, long talks on the back porch and slow walks they'd shared in the last few years. Days on base, off world, or just hanging around on the surface of earth, years and years of memories.

"Yes Jake" Jack answered finally. "There are a lot of stories I can tell you."


End file.
